5 times I failed as a manager and what I learned from it

Let’s not forget, managers are people.  They aren’t perfect, and even the most experienced ones, just like you, are often still learning as they go.  

And sometimes, you are the manager!

I’ve been there.  As a manager, we make mistakes.  A lot of them.  But as the old adage says, it isn’t a mistake if you learn from it.  

In leadership training, being able to identify your mistakes and learn from them is one of the best qualities you can attain.  It makes you a better leader, it helps your employees grow, and it avoids creating a toxic culture in your own office. 

Here are five times I failed as a manager, and what I learned from it.  

1. Not Delegating

   My own manager would come in at random times and just grill me.  It would stress me out, but I wanted to show him that I had control over things.  I wanted to do well.  And most of all, I wanted him to leave me alone!

   I was smart, and I wanted to prove it.  Frankly, sometimes I even enjoyed the challenge of handling it all.  Let the employees handle the customers, and I did close to everything else.  Report needed to be completed?  Done.  An account wasn’t paying on time?  I’d call them.

   Quickly, I was overwhelmed and often stressed out.  Eventually, I began to overlook things and started to make a lot of mistakes.  Worse, I started to become a little apathetic and accept that things would just slip through the cracks sometimes.  You think this got my manager to leave me alone?  NOPE. 

   I had to learn to delegate.  I had to even force it at first.  Not only was I taking too much on for myself, but I was depriving my employees of their own growth.  Not giving employees more challenges was keeping them bored, unfulfilled, and small.  It was not healthy for any of us.  

   Delegating really isn’t that hard once you get used to it.  Give clear directions.  Use calender appointments to remind employees and yourself, and follow up.  It creates better employee engagement, while making you a bigger presence.  

   “Deciding what not to do is as important as deciding what to do.” Jessica Jackley
   

2. Avoiding Confrontation

   Sometimes the work you ask of your people isn’t fun.  Sure, you can show them that you could do it too, it’s good practice to never ask an employee to do something you wouldn’t do.  But, I would often get worried about having to deal with an employee that pushed back, or didn’t do the work.  I was afraid of the possibility of having to write them up or having to manage them out.  I never wanted to do that.

   My go to response was to “fix it” and make it go away.  To take on the work for them and handle it all quickly so we could move on to the next thing.  

   Wrong response on my part.  Holding them accountable for their job duties is actually helping them.  And once they get it, it makes your job so much easier.  

   Of course you want them to succeed.  So encourage them!  Let them know where they did well and where they can do better.  Start with what they did well and then lead into the areas of improvement.  Stay firm and they will respect you for it.  And better yet, you will respect yourself.  

   People don’t push back at you if you make them feel appreciated.  

   
   “The quality of our lives depends not on whether or not we have conflicts, but on how we respond to them” - Thomas Crum

3. Breaking News, your employees are not your friends

   When you are a lowly new employee, you bond with those in the same position as you.  You are all learning together.  It is fresh with little responsibility.  It is good to have fun at work.  I know I did.  The inside jokes you develope along with after- hour venting can be really healthy.  Embrace this time period.  

   But, we all want to grow.  I did, and I got promoted to a management position.  Well, some of those same co-workers I joked and vented with were now my employees.  

   Problem was, sometimes I felt like an imposter, a sell out, trying to motivate them to now do the same things that we had previously joked about or even passively rebelled against.  

   I had trouble with this at first.  I still tried to laugh at the jokes while attempting to manage.  I couldn’t do both.  No one can.  You create opportunities for employees to pushback at you, and you lose their respect.  

   You are the leader.  You can have fun, but it’s your job to keep things professional and to get the best out of everyone.  You are getting paid more for it.  

   You have to separate yourself.  There is no getting around it. 

   “It’s lonely at the top” - unknown

4. Resisting change

   I was stuck in a bit of a rut.  I had been in the same position for a while, and I was a little firm in my ways.   New managers above me were coming in, and they wanted to make some adjustments to the culture.  Things were changing.  

   I resisted.  I had things going the way I wanted that I thought were working.  I knew what I was doing.  Back off!  

   But honestly, things were only working “ok.”  They weren’t great.  And I hate to say it, but looking back I just wanted to keep things at status quo.  I didn’t want to change. 

   I ended up getting a firm talking to about it.  And you know what?  They were right to do it.  No person on my team or the operation itself was growing in a positive direction.  I had to give in.  I had to adjust.  And guess what?  It created new excitement for the team and we all ended up making more money because of it.  It is good to go out of your comfort zone.  

   “Change is never painful, only the resistance to change is painful” - Buddha
   

5. Don’t Expect Employees to all Think like you
   I remember it well.  The VP of my organization was doing his rounds with the managers, and this day he was with me.  We were discussing my team and my employees.  I liked the team and would build them up, but in passing, speaking about one employee I said, “he does a good job, but he can be so frustrating!  I wish he thought more like me.”  

   Without skipping a beat, the wise VP responded along the lines of , “No you don’t.  You and your team will be much better when you learn to embrace how others think.”  It hit me.  It opened me up to a new way of thinking. 

   From that point on I made a conscious effort to really look at how others thought and what they responded to and what they were good at.  From there it made it easier for me to direct them and help them grow.  We all became better for it.

   He was right.  I guess that is why he was the VP. 

   
   “You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you” - Walt Disney

Growing as a manager isn’t easy.  And honestly, it shouldn’t be.  Anything great takes some time and effort.  The goal is to learn to impact others through influence.  It’s OK to make mistakes.  They are unavoidable.  Recognize them.  Listen to feedback.  Grow.  

In order to lead, you do have to learn to lead yourself.